Confusion in Dating

Yes, that's right, I'm confused or at least the last 48 hours of my life I've been confused. These last couple of days have really been hard on me...not a great emotional time for this 46 year old woman. Why, well there are a number of reasons, but mainly it's because I still don't understand a thing about men, about dating; I second guess myself, my opinion of some of the men I've been seeing and at last count, the advise I'm giving to my daughter on her tribulations with her boyfriend.......remember how you felt in High School? Bingo!

Why you ask? Well it's because I've figured out that I don't date well. Dating is hard, at least for me. Oh, don't get me wrong, it's easy in some sense and can add fodder to your blog or your conversations with friends when that first date doesn't go well. But once you get past the first date and you've developed an interest, well that's when it all goes haywire. For me it seems that dating more than one person at a time doesn't work...I can't start to develop communication, attraction, or anything else with one person and then "grab a bite" with someone else. It seems my interest stays with one person at a time. The problem with this is that if and/or when the person you're concentrating on goes south, where does it leave you? You've passed on other opportunities, said, "thank you but I'm pursuing something elsewhere" and then, nothing. You're back to ground zero and may have lost a great chance at someone who was really, honestly interested in you.

This relates to my last post in a couple of ways...maybe I shouldn't date, I'm happy, successful, have great friends, etc. Do I need to add angst, insecurity or sadness to my day. I've been quite happy over the last 7 years. Yes I've dated, but I've always had in the back of my mind that I wasn't interested in pursuing anything with any of the men I was seeing; so no emotional turmoil. I've had male friends who've been there for the male perspective on life, the occasional romantic evening, etc. I was good, I was level headed, I was happy. So why would I suddenly decide, "It's time for love in my life"? I know I want love, desire someones company and that I deserve it. It just seems that with my first foray into the search, I haven't found what I expected. I had forgotten that people don't always go at the same pace as you. That they don't always follow through with what they say and especially that this can disappoint you.

So where does that leave me? According to one of my male friends, I should go back to not dating for love but date for sex....with him specifically...lol. Joking aside, he repeatedly said, don't give up, "some of us are looking for the same thing you are"....I just need to find those men. Okay, great I said with my happy voice, please tell me how to do that? How do I know those men from the others? How do I tell when someone is being sincere? When they are truly interested? I swear I thought I had that one down....but apparently my "sincerity" meter has gone array. I obviously need a repair man! Someone get me the Yellow Pages quick!

One last thought....maybe it's music's fault. Maybe it's my choice in music these days. Maybe I should stop listening to Al Green, Chaka Khan and Michael Franks! I know I should definitely stop paying attention to the words. Hmmmm...didn't Al Greens wife throw hot grits on his face after finding out that he was fooling around.........